Where I Am

Hello everyone,

I know it's been a while. I hope to start getting better at blogging semi-regularly again. So today, I write about my life currently. However untheological this quote may be, it is true that Life is a climb. And it probably is the best reflection of my life in this moment.

But I must start at Thanksgiving week first. Over my time in orange country for work over Thanksgiving holiday, God showed me how much I need Him. Now, of course this isn't new news. But He showed me that I've been trusting the people and things of this world to make me happy. When in reality, nothing of this world can cause or bring happiness. For living of this world actually causes the opposite. But I was enjoying it. Sadly, but it's true. But He called me back. He made me realize that I need more discipline in my life. That I can't do anything without Him.

So fast forward to last Saturday night. We had the cross-generational Christmas party. I was still having a non-Christ-Centered view. I didn't want to go. But I went, and through the night of Christ-Centered worship and fellowship, I came to the realization that I really did need to repair my lifestyle that I've been in for a couple months.

Therefore, when I got home, I made the decision to not go on Facebook for a week. And to delete my twitter account. Although, small as they may be, I know that I spend too much time idley on them both. I follow these celebrities, to see what's going on in their lives, when I shouldnt' even care. And I need to cut back on the media intake that I let into my mind. So, this was that first step. And I realized that I waste so much time on facebook, trying to remain friends with people who may not care if I didn't initiate contact. So, I decided to take a break.

Now, It's hard to say what the long term effects will be. But I know that I need more discipline in my life. Especially if i want to serve as a believer in L.A. I can't rely on my own strengths or willpower to stay strong and focused on Christ without Relying on He who is the reason for which I have life, and for my salvation. So although it will be a long time coming, and may never happen, I pray I can continue to trust in the One who died for me. And not let this world tempt me, with its temporal treasures any longer.

Life...

So, recently I've lost a really good friend. I know I need to move on, but it's hard because I don't take losing friends well at all. This person left (well stopped talking to me abrubtly) and I was really hurt by it. He didn't even give a reason. I know I need to be okay with that. I know that God has a plan for everything, but it definetly still hurts. Especially learning that someone you thought you knew, you didn't know at all. I forgive this person, but I'm still hurting. I miss this person regardless, I just need to have the strength to move on. Anyway, that's how I've been feeling lately.

Friend, if you ever read this, I miss you and care for you deeply. I hope that the Lord blesses you and hope to maybe see you again someday. I thank the Lord for you, no matter how much pain you've caused. Please forgive me if I overstepped or did anything wrong. <3

Growing up...

So, I think lately I've been growing up a lot. And at the same time it's become so apparent how much more growing up I have to do. Last night I came to the realization that God is so good!!! Not that this is new news at all, but...it's always good to remember. I am sooo small and God is soo Big!!! It's overwhelming but in a good way.

Now for the trials portion. Last night I had a small meltdown. I realized how much I've fallen away since I've been here in LA. Maybe fallen away isn't the right words. But I interact with my friends here like I do with the ones I've known all my life. The ones who know who I really am in regards to my faith. Whereas these other friends just see who I am now. I know I need to work on this more. Work on being a light. Work on being a light for Jesus in this place. My usual means of doing this just can't cut it anymore. I've realized I may have to end some friendships, which is not something I've ever felt I had to do. I need to do more. So...yeah that's that.

Today started better. I was happy with just who Christ is. And work was easier, etc. But things can change so much. They can be great then turn to gray so fast. I don't understand it. I don't like it, but thats life. And when these things happen all I can do is turn to Him. And on my hands and knees I fall, into his arms. And I know it'll be okay, and even if its not, well that's okay too. Some things never fail. God is good, He is sovereign. He's in control. He is so many unchanging and unfailing things. So I lean upon Him when all else turns to black. If only I remembered that everyday. :) So here I am today. Am I happy, no. Am I sad, yes. But I still have hope in my Heavenly Father. That He is there, and He loves me. And everything...EVERYTHING is according to His plan for me. Even if I don't like it, or have problems with his timing. Which I struggle with constantly. But I guess that's one reason its called faith right? Faith in someone so holy, who's timing is perfect and who is in complete control, when it seems things are spiraling out of control. :) Thank you Lord for your amazing Grace, and mercy towards me, a sinner. And for loving me so fully, enough to send your son for me. Thank you Father, Spirit, Jesus...

DCP: Housing

I know you all want to know what my apartment looks like. So here's a blog all about my housing. So, I think it's pretty sweet. They're nice, fully furnished but cozy. Some would say they're pricey, but I don't think it's too bad. So here are the photos...

Here's mine and Bethany's room. (There are now two Jonas Brothers posters up.)

Here's our living room! (Which is still a work in progress, but now we have an Enchanted poster and a Disneyland Map on the walls)

This is mine and Bethany's bathroom. (And whoever may visit our apartment)

Our wonderful kitchen. We have lots of counter space, it's wonderful. (Well in the rare occasion when its not messy)

The other side of our kitchen. With our electric stove and microwave.

So, that's it. I know it's plain, and kind of boring, but I still like it. :)